Get On Board for Self Growth

There is a common denominator when I step into doing something new. My fear of sucking, or not being good. My belief system seems to be that I must be a bad-ass at everything I try, even if it’s my first time. I’m sure somewhere in my days on the playground as a kid, someone told me I wasn’t good at the monkey bars or foursquare — and it’s stuck with ever since.

I’ve had a long distance relationship with something I can see myself falling thoroughly in love with – paddling. I discovered paddling uniquely. I was teaching yoga, and a local company was looking for teachers to bring on for SUP Yoga. Combining something, I’m good at (yoga) with something I wasn’t familiar with (SUP) overrode my fear of sucking. I had one skill down and figured I could fumble through the other. It worked. I found myself slowly learning how to get better at something I once sucked at prior.

After making up excuses for a good solid year of why I couldn’t paddle: no board, pads stolen from my rack, not knowing how to properly load a board on my car, not having a PFD, not having anyone to paddle with, I finally said “screw it” and decided to bring back in something I truly loved. I’m an “all or nothing” type of human — I’m either all the way in or not in at all. My first time back on a board in a long while consisted of paddling with people who I see as kick-ass paddlers on kick-ass boards. My initial excuse of why I was falling behind of course was “well, I’m on a rec board, so that’s the ONLY reason why I’m falling behind.” Lame excuse. Lame reason. I mean, how the hell do I believe that statement to be true? So, I dropped that thought along with my fear of sucking or fear of being dead last. And I paddled as hard as I could and as best I could. See, we live in a world where not trying at all is better than trying and falling short. But the lessons aren’t in deciding to not even step foot into something uncomfortable. The lessons are getting out there and pushing past the comfort zone. Every — Single — Day! That’s where growth lies. It lies in proving to the ego that you give zero f*cks about how you look and you care solely about TRYING your hardest- even if it means coming in dead last. If you’ve ever tried paddling (or haven’t even had the guts to try it at all) and have fallen off the board (so to speak) and been too afraid to jump back on again- my advice is just to do it. Who cares if you’re on a rec board surrounded by people who can lap you in their sleep? At least your challenging yourself in a way that births growth. And ultimately that’s what life is all about anyway — growth. Just show up and give it a try. Who knows, you might actually like it.